Listen to Coronavirus Patient Zero
Internet Marketing Novice Appeals To Web Gurus
A web business is my last chance to suceed in the economic world and I'm counting on you Internet marketing gurus for help. All your ads hype (and hype and hype and hype) the promise of your invaluable assitance. Surly a few months of being an Internet Mogul and I'll be flush with success, just like you. All you gurus say I can do it, if I only buy your (terribly overpriced) products. If I'm on a budget, $99 bucks will get me your hot-shot eBook with the 10 Magic Secretes of the Rich and Powerful. You know, the ones like you who work ten minutes a day in your silk jammies, don't know a bit of HTML yet rake in millions on the net.
Of course it's not worth the $99 that was so conveniently tacked onto my credit card bill in a nano-instant after I clicked here. To really learn the secrets of you gurus, I gotta spend some money. After all, the honest ones among you will confess those free reports you give away aren't even worth that much. So for a mere $997, I can get a glimpse of your incredible wisdom sloppily photocopied and loaded into 3-ring binders. Ten-thousand pages.
Delivered to my door. Ah, the personal touch! Is there a better learning system out there? This mogul needs better training is she's going to succeed. Sorry, I'm not trying to insult anyone, certainly not a rich guy I'm seeking help from. I'm just giving you that honest feedback you asked for. It's not my fault that you weren't really sincere with that request. How about stoping the sales pitches for a second and giving me some real information? How about assuming, just for a brief moment, that I'm slighly smarter than a monkey? (Only slightly, mind you.) Don't tell me I can make 20 gazillion dollars while sound asleep and then follow it up with an admonishment that the internet is not a get rick quick scheme. Didn't you just tell me that it was? Oh, I get it. That's just a marketing ploy to make me beg you to take my money. Besides, you assure me, some people DO get rick quickly on the internet.
You and your buddies selling crap to people like me, that's whose getting rich quick on the internet.
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